The Gruesome Leadership Truth I Learned Watching Teeth Get Ripped Out

Or: How to go against human nature to be a better leader

“Sufficient brutality or constant cruelty”.

This was a quote from The Fall of the House of Usher which morbidly caught my attention.

Give this quote a few seconds to marinate. Say it again in your head. Then think about the last time you had to deliver a large amount of bad news to your team.

How Do You Want Pain Served?

A brief, massively painful, and unforgettable jolt that could change your mindset forever?

Or a lifetime of less intense aches and pains that offers little but perceived cruelty?

Human nature would blurt out “slow!”, but I’d beg to differ if any of us were in the situation to be the recipient of that pain.

Rip the Bad

The natural instinct of any empathetic leader is to try to slow down (or prevent) the pain delivered to the team. Nobody wants to see people they care about suffer an intense moment of pain.

However, over time, this appears as nothing but constant cruelty to the team.

If you are hearing things like “you keep changing things” or “we just can’t catch a win here” muttered amongst your team, chances are YOU as the leader are not facing the hard truths head on.

I used to think easing into the bad news would soften the blow.

Wrong. It just drags out the dread.

Now, I understand that we must drop bad news fast, clear, and complete.

It stings, sure, but it's transparent and lets us move on quickly. No mucking around in uncertainty.

Drip the Good

Conversely the instincts of an empathetic leader is the rush forth and blurt out all of the great things in real time.

We actually want to do the exact opposite for the great news: drip it out over time.

Dropping all the good stuff at once? That's a rookie mistake. It burns bright, then fades fast. Stretch it out, and the positive vibes last longer, fueling motivation and drive.

We should seek to provide constant reinforcement of good news and positivity - so hold some of that great news back for a day. It won’t go away, I promise.

Everything Affects Team Morale

How you handle news shapes your team's trust and efficiency.

Bad news dealt quickly paves the way for recovery and action.

Extending the good news maintains a steady beat of optimism.

As leaders, we're in the rhythm business, setting the pace for our team's journey.

Short and sharp for the tough talks.

Slow and steady for the wins.

That's leadership that understands timing, trust, and team dynamics.